Day 1

What can you accomplish when you're not constantly on the computer? Turns out a lot, actually. No facebook = finishing two books, starting another, getting in touch with apartment properties about moving in August, washing windows, initiating an all out war against accumulating dog hair, doing laundry, cooking dinner, exercising, etc.  More importantly, I feel SO much better today--not nearly as tired and lethargic as I am after spending so many hours behind the computer screen. 

Something I'm starting to notice is how very little self-control I have, whether it's concerning how I use my time, what I eat, what I spend, etc, and I think that's something God is really working on at the moment. We know all too well that He only trusts us with the big things if we can be faithful with the little things, so why would this be any different? Maybe it's just the fear of losing some of my "power" that is, the nice little rush that I get when I tell myself that it's my life, my body, my money, my time...blah blah blah that causes me to lack so much follow through. If I can't keep up with something when it gets hard (can anyone say diet plan??), then I just mask that failure with an air of self-confidence: "I don't need to be a size ___ to be happy." And that statement in and of itself might be true, but the motivation behind it is far from liberating. So...one goal at a time, I'm working through it. This week it's facebook. Next week it might be diet and exercise, and--let's face it--I'm always being forced to work on controlling my finances. So far, so good...we'll see how the rest of the week goes! 

Facebook Vacation

Yep. Just a short one, though. I don't think I could commit to any longer than a week. Here's the thing: I think so many hours of staring at the facebook homepage has been seriously detrimental to my motivation. Facebook isn't the only culprit, but it's certainly the biggest. I don't read because my multi-tasking skills are not sophisticated enough to include reading and actively checking FB at the same time. I don't write because I can only make it through a paragraph before making my way to a computer to check for updates. I can't even have some quite prayer time without checking my email. The first thing I do when I  walk through the door after work is grab my computer and get online. And that's where I stay. What I had originally considered to be a "down time"...something that's supposed to be relaxing, is making me irritable, impatient, and even more inactive than I already am. While I can't give up the internet all together (like it or not, email has become the prevalent form of communication for me), I'll say goodbye to facebook for a little while and see what it feels like. It's kind of like detox plan...you go on some crazy restrictive diet to jump start weight loss, and by the time you go off it, you no longer crave the junk as often. That is, if you can follow through. So here's to getting off the couch and doing something productive with the remainder of my summer.

Never Say Never

...because it will come back to bite you. I've recently been recalling conversations I had with others (or sometimes with myself) in which I've adamantly claimed that I will never....(fill in the blank).

"I wouldn't ever want to be an English teacher because then I'd have to learn all that grammar and stuff, and I hate that!"--Age 13

"This is sooo stupid! Why do I have to learn math?! I'll never need it!"--Age...well...probably from 10-17

In response to hearing Heather's passionate philosophies of education: "I'm never going to be quite as crazy as she is..." Age 14-18

And most recently: "I am NEVER going back to the lowcountry...I've had enough of that part of the state, and I want nothing more to do with it." Age 21

These statements came flooding back to my mind one-by-one yesterday afternoon as I made my way home from a day of tutoring elementary students in the math I was always so desperate to avoid. They continued to assault me as I chatted with a friend about the upcoming school year and how I'm planning for my first year as an English teacher, what literature I'm going to cover and how I'll fit in that grammar instruction that I've come to love so much. They stayed close by while I wrote out my own philosophies and beliefs about my classroom which are strangely close to my sister's...and they hit me full force as I searched for apartments in Charleston, aka: the Lowcountry. 


Never say never. It gives God an opportunity to see how serious you are.