Venting

I need an outlet, and since I'm pretty sure that not too many people actually read this blog, I think this is a semi-safe place. Once again, I feel like I have reached the end of my rope (it keeps getting shorter and shorter)...so soon in the semester too. I can't seem to keep it all together; things keep on slipping through the cracks--organization, assignments, punctuality--I no longer have the mental or emotional capacity to make it all happen anymore. What's worse, I don't know how to fix it.

Then there's this little issue of my car...the car with the bad transmission that will supposedly cost $2500 to repair. I have no idea where that money is going to come from, but my once-drivable vehicle is quickly deteriorating into a useless piece of hot metal, and I have the feeling that I will soon find myself without any form of reliable transportation. I truly have no idea what the next step should be...student loans aren't practical (no co-signer), help from parents isn't exactly feasible at the moment, credit card won't handle this big of a job, and if I try to start working enough hours to pay for this fix, I think I will quickly lose my sanity and flunk out of school. Again...I just can't seem to keep everything under control.

Add to all of this craziness my mysterious H1N1 type symptoms (but no fever, so it's all good), and I am officially a wreck.

Repairs

It's storming outside tonight. From my bedroom, I can hear the rain coming in through our kitchen ceiling and dripping obnoxiously into a plastic mixing bowl that's sitting in the middle of the floor. Along with the leaky ceiling, our kitchen boasts a broken garbage disposal and a dishwasher that floods the entire floor within the first 5 minutes of being turned on. The office doesn't seem too concerned, which has been OK, since we know how to survive washing our own dishes and avoiding the garbage disposal switch (because if we turn it on longer than a few seconds, the motor burns up, and our whole apartment smells like dying feet). But a leaky ceiling, I cannot deal with.

Did I mention that my lovely car--the one that had so many issues over the summer--has now decided to quit on me again? This time it's the transmission. I don't know much about cars, but I KNOW this is a bad thing. Obviously, none of these things can be fixed at 1:30 in the morning, so I'm calling it a night and going to bed.