Christmas Spirit?

The silence in this apartment is absolutely deafening. It's finals week...we're stressed, frustrated, impatient, and TIRED. You would think that the culmination of these thing would add up to exasperated outbursts, loud rants and raves about the misery of exams, or at the very least a couple of friendly arguments over whatever silly things that roommates argue about (dishes? taking out the trash? I'm a little clueless here, since we are not the arguing type), but no. It all adds up to a silence so heavy and penetrating, that it's all I can do just to keep myself from running away. It's not that I like noise necessarily, but I definitely like to have something going on in the background...just to remind me that I don't live in a tomb.

It's almost Christmas, and here we are with our just recently decorated apartment (ok, we only got as far as the fireplace and some lights strung feebly along the railing of the balcony, but it's a start!), and no other perceivable bit of Christmas spirit or holiday cheer to go along with it. I'm sad to say it, but I think this must mean that I've grown up. Christmas cookies and jingle bells simply aren't enough to replace the stress of being a college senior with the excitement of the current season. I hate that I have lost this sense of joy, but what I hate more is that I don't really know how to regain it. I realize that the fact that I'm no longer in grade school has something to do with this, but shouldn't the mystery of Christmas--Christ coming to Earth as one of us--still bring joy to my heart and cause me to stop and wonder at the mystery of it all? The sheer magnitude of such an act...for God to become human, to live this sometimes weary life, knowing all along that He would have to die a most excruciating death to save the ones that put Him on the cross in the first place.

My Christmas prayer is that I be reunited with that joy and wonder...that my heart might be constantly amazed at the gift He came to give us all. Lord Jesus, please give me a more sincere heart to accept this gift from You. I pray that my actions and attitude might glorify You and lift You up, pointing others toward Your ceaseless love. May praises and prayers of thanksgiving constantly reside on my lips. In Jesus' name, AMEN.