So I guess I completely fail at doing ANYTHING consistently...writing on a daily basis included. I don't know if it's the fact that I feel like I have nothing of any real significance to say (seriously, how many times can I talk about finals and lesson plans?) or the mere hint of obligation I feel to keep this thing updated. I swear, as soon as I make the slightest shift from wanting to do something to feeling like maybe I should, all of my self-discipline flies right out the window. Like reading...I may very well have read some of those "classics" all on my own and LOVED them, but because a teacher was telling me that I had to read them because they were just plain important...I got a little rebellious. Maybe that's understandable and even halfway acceptable in high school, but seriously?!...You would think that after spending 4 years being completely self-sufficient and making my own decisions, I would not experience such unwilling resistance to anything that holds any measure of obligation. I should be able to just suck it up and finish what I started. But no.

See, that's another little issue I have. I simply cannot finish one thing before starting another. Again, this is demonstrated all too well by my reading habits. I'll be halfway through one book before deciding that I just have to start this other one that has been sitting on my shelf for months. Or I'll make out a to-do list for myself, and rather than making my way down the list one at a time, I do bits pieces of each thing sporadically, never really making any real progress. What's worse though, is that I'm all too aware of my tendency to simply give up mid-way through a project simply because I've had enough of it. I was born without the gene that makes you finish something just because you want to see it completed. I started reading The Book Thief a few weeks ago and was totally sucked it...I couldn't get enough! I spent all of my free time working my way through this book...until I got to the last 50 or so pages. I had had enough. So now it's sitting on my floor, almost read but not quite, and to be honest...I don't have any intention of picking it up again.

WHAT is it about me that keeps me from having the ability to successfully complete any task, project, or challenge in an efficient manner?! Is it a mental block? Is it just something that I've been telling myself for so many years that is has actually manifested itself in my day-to-day life, or am I really just incapable of establishing and keeping routines and habits?

I'm beginning to think that the only consistent "habit" I will ever be capable of sustaining is my dire need for my morning coffee fix.